Tuesday, July 5, 2011

POCKETFUL OF DHARMA



PAOLO BACIGALUPI

WANG JUN STOOD ON THE rain-slicked streets of old Chengdu and stared up into the
drizzle at Huojianzhu.

It rose into the evening darkness, a massive city core, dwarfing even Chengdu's
skyscrapers. Construction workers dangled from its rising skeleton, swinging
from one section of growth to the next on long rappelling belts. Others
clambered unsecured, digging their fingers into the honeycomb structure,
climbing the struts with careless dangerous ease. Soon the growing core would
overwhelm the wet-tiled roofs of the old city. Then Huojianzhu, the Living
Architecture, would become Chengdu entirely.

It grew on lattices of minerals, laying its own skeleton and following with
cellulose skin. Infrastructure strong and broad, growing and branching, it
settled roots deep into the green fertile soil of the Sichuan basin. It drew
nutrients and minerals from the soil and sun, and the water of the rancid Bing
Jiang; sucking at pollutants as willingly as it ate the sunlight which filtered
through twining sooty mist.

Within, its veins and arteries grew pipelines to service the waste and food and
data needs of its coming occupants. It was an animal vertical city built first
in the fertile minds of the Biotects and now growing into reality. Energy pulsed
from the growing creature. It would stand a kilometer high and five wide when
fully mature. A vast biologic city, which other than its life support would then
lie dormant as humanity walked its hollowed arteries, clambered through its
veins and nailed memories to its skin in the rituals of habitation.

Wang Jun watched Huojianzhu and dreamed in his small beggar-boy mind of ways and
means that might lead him out of the wet streets and hunger and into its
comforts. Already sections of it glowed with habitation. People, living high and
far above him, roamed the organism's corridors. Only the powerful and wealthy
would live so high above. Those with guanxi. Connections. Influence.

His eyes sought the top of the core, through the darkness and rain and mist, but
it disappeared long before his eyes could find it. He wondered if the people up
high saw the stars while he saw only drizzle. He had heard that if one cut
Huojianzhu, its walls would bleed. Some said it cried. He shivered at the rising
creature and turned his eyes back to earth to continue pushing with his
stick-thin limbs and bent posture through the Chengdu crowds.

Commuters carried black umbrellas or wore blue and yellow plastic ponchos to
protect them from the spitting rain. His own hair lay soaked, slicked to the
contours of his skull. He shivered and cast about himself, seeking hard for
likely marks, so that he nearly tripped over the Tibetan.

The man squatted on the wet pavement with clear plastic covering his wares. Soot
and sweat grimed his face, so that his features sheened black and sticky under
the harsh halogen glare of the street lamps. The warped and jagged stumps of his
teeth showed as he smiled. He pulled a desiccated tiger claw from under the
plastic and waved it in Wang Jun's face.

"You want tiger bones?" He leered. "Good for virility."

Wang Jun stopped short before the waving amputated limb. Its owner was long dead
so that only the sinews and ragged fur and the bone remained, dried and stringy.
He stared at the relic and reached out to touch the jerky tendons and wickedly
curving yellowed claws.

The Tibetan jerked it away and laughed again. There was a tarnished silver ring
on his finger, studded with chunks of turquoise; a snake twining around his
finger and swallowing its tail endlessly.

"You can't afford to touch." He ground phlegm and spit on the pavement beside
him, leaving a pool of yellow mucus shot through with the black texturing of
Chengdu's air.

"I can," said Wang Jun.

"What have you got in your pockets?"

Wang Jun shrugged and the Tibetan laughed. "You have nothing, you stunted little
boy. Come back when you've got something in your pockets."

He waved his goods of virility at the interested, more moneyed buyers who had
gathered. Wang Jun slipped back into the crowd.

It was true what the Tibetan said. He had nothing in his pockets. He had a
ratted wool blanket hidden in a Stone-Ailixin cardboard box, a broken VTOL
Micro-Machine, and a moldering yellow woolen school hat.

He had come from the green-terraced hills of the countryside with less than
that. Already twisted and scarred with the passage of plague, he had come to
Chengdu with empty hands and empty pockets and the recollections of a silent
dirt village where no thing lived. His body carried recollections of pain so
deep that it remained permanently crouched in a muscular memory of that agony.

He had had nothing in his pockets then and he had nothing in his pockets now. It
might have bothered him if he had ever known anything but want. Anything but
hunger. He could resent the Tibetan's dismissal no more than he might resent the
neon logos which hung from the tops of towers and illuminated the pissing rain
with flashing reds, yellows, blues, and greens. Electric colors filled the
darkness with hypnotic rhythms and glowing dreams. Red Pagoda Cigarettes, Five
Star Beer, Shizi Jituan Software, and Heaven City Banking Corporation. Confucius
Jiajiu promised warm rice wine comfort while JinLong Pharmaceuticals guaranteed
long life, and it all lay beyond him.

He hunkered in a rain-slicked doorway, with his twisted bent back and empty
pockets and emptier stomach and wide-open eyes looking for the mark who would
feed him tonight. The glowing promises hung high above him, more connected to
those people who lived in the skyscrapers: people with cash and officials in
their pockets. There was nothing up there he knew or understood. He coughed, and
cleared the black mucus from his throat. The streets, he knew. Organic rot and
desperation, he understood. Hunger, he felt rumbling in his belly.

He watched covetously as people walked past and he called out to them in a
polyglot of Mandarin, Chengdu dialect, and the only English words he knew, "Give
me money. Give me money." He tugged at their umbrellas and yellow ponchos. He
stroked their designer sleeves and powdered skin until they relented and gave
money. Those who broke away, he spat upon. The angry ones who seized him, he bit
with sharp yellow teeth.

Foreigners were few now in the wet. Late October hurried them homeward, back to
their provinces, homes, and countries. Leaner times lay ahead, lean enough that
he worried about his future and counted the crumpled paper the people threw to
him. He held tight the light aluminum jiao coins people tossed. The foreigners
always had paper money and often gave, but they grew too few.

He scanned the street, then picked at a damp chip of concrete on the ground. In
Huojianzhu, it was said, they used no concrete to build. He wondered what the
floors would feel like, the walls. He dimly remembered his home from before he
came to Chengdu, a house made of mud, with a dirt floor. He doubted the city
core was made of the same. His belly grew emptier. Above him, a video loop of Lu
Xieyan, a Guangdong singer, exhorted the people on the street to strike down the
Three Wrongs of Religion: Dogmatism, Terrorism, and Splittism. He ignored her
screeching indictments and scanned the crowds again.

A pale face bobbed in the flow of Chinese. A foreigner, but he was a strange
one. He neither pushed ahead with a purpose, nor gawked about himself at
Chengdu's splendors. He seemed at home on the alien street. He wore a black coat
which stretched to the ground. It was shiny, so it reflected the reds and blues
of neon, and the flash of the street lamps. The patterns were hypnotic.

Wang Jun slid closer. The man was tall, two meters high, and he wore dark
glasses so that his eyes were hidden. Wang Jun recognized the glasses and was
sure the man saw clearly from behind the inky ovals. Microfibers in the lenses
stole the light and amplified and smoothed it so that the man saw day, even as
he hid his eyes from others in the night.

Wang Jun knew the glasses were expensive and knew Three-Fingers Gao would buy
them if he could steal them. He watched the man and waited as he continued up
the street with his assured, arrogant stride. Wang Jun trailed him, stealthy and
furtive. When the man turned into an alley and disappeared, Wang Jun rushed to
follow.

He peeked into the alley's mouth. Buildings crowded the passageway's darkness.
He smelled excrement and dead things moldering. He thought of the Tibetan's
tiger claw, dried and dead, with pieces nicked away from the bone and tendons
where customers had selected their weight of virility. The foreigner's footsteps
echoed and splashed in the darknesss; the even footsteps of a man who saw in the
dark. Wang Jun slid in after him, crouching and feeling his way blindly. He
touched the roughness of the walls. Instant concrete. Stroking the darkness, he
followed the receding footsteps.

Whispers broke the dripping stillness. Wang Jun smiled in the darkness,
recognizing the sound of a trade. Did the foreigner buy girls? Heroin? So many
things for a foreigner to buy. He settled still, to listen.

The whispers grew heated and terminated in a brief yelp of surprise. Someone
gagged and then there was a rasping and a splash. Wang Jun trembled and waited,
as still as the concrete to which he pressed his body.

The words of his own country echoed, "Kai deng ba." Wang Jun's ears pricked at a
familiar accent. A light flared and his eyes burned under the sharp glare. When
his sight adjusted he stared into the dark eyes of the Tibetan street hawker.
The Tibetan smiled slowly showing the encrustations Of his teeth and Wang Jun
stumbled back, seeking escape.

The Tibetan captured Wang Jun with hard efficiency. Wang Jun bit at the
Tibetan's hands and fought, but the Tibetan was quick and he pressed Wang Jun
against the wet concrete ground so that all Wang Jun could see were two pairs of
boots; the Tibetan's and a companion's. He struggled, then let his body lie
limp, understanding the futility of defiance.

"So, you're a fighter," the Tibetan said, and held him clown a moment longer to
make his lesson clear. Then he hauled Wang Jun upright. His hand clamped
painfully at Wang Jun's nape. "NJ shi shei?" he asked.

Wang Jun trembled and whined, "No one. A beggar. No one."

The Tibetan looked more closely at him and smiled. "The ugly boy with the empty
pockets. Do you want the tiger's claw after all?"

"I don't want anything."

"You will receive nothings" said the Tibetan's companion. The Tibetan smirked.
Wang Jun marked the new speaker as Hunanese by his accent.

The Hunanese asked, "What is your name?"

"Wang Jun."

"Which 'Jun'?"

Wang Jun shrugged. "I don't know."

The Hunanese shook his head and smiled. "A farmer's boy," he said. "What do you
plant? Cabbage? Rice?" He laughed. "The Sichuanese are ignorant. You should know
how to write your name. I will assume that your 'Jun' is for soldier. Are you a
soldier?"

Wang Jun shook his head. "I'm a beggar."

"Soldier Wang, the beggar? No. That won't do. You are simply Soldier Wang." He
smiled. "Now tell me, Soldier Wang, why are you here in this dangerous dark
alley in the rain?"

Wang Jun swallowed. "I wanted the foreigner's dark glasses."

"Did you?"

Wang Jun nodded.

The Hunanese stared into Wang Jun's eyes, then nodded. "All right, Little Wang.
Soldier Wang," he said. "You may have them. Go over there. Take them if you are
not afraid." The Tibetan's grip relaxed and Wang Jun was free.

He looked and saw where the foreigner lay, face down in a puddle of water. At
the Hunanese's nod, he edged closer to the still body, until he stood above it.
He reached down and pulled at the big man's hair until his face rose dripping
from the water, and his expensive glasses were accessible. Wang Jun pulled the
glasses from the corpse's face and laid its head gently back into the stagnant
pool. He shook water from the glasses and the Hunanese and Tibetan smiled.

The Hunanese crooked a finger, beckoning.

"Now, Soldier Wang, I have a mission for you. The glasses are your payment. Put
them in your pocket. Take this," a blue datacube appeared in his hand, "and take
it to the Renmin Lu bridge across the Bing Jiang. Give it to the person who
wears white gloves. That one will give you something extra for your pocket." He
leaned conspiratorially closer, encircling Wang Jun's neck and holding him so
that their noses pressed together and Wang Jun could smell his stale breath. "If
you do not deliver this, my friend will hunt you down and see you die."

The Tibetan smiled.

Wang Jun swallowed and nodded, closing the cube in his small hand. "Go then,
Soldier Wang. Dispense your duty." The Hunanese released his neck, and Wang Jun
plunged for the lighted streets, with the datacube clutched tight in his hand.

The pair watched him run.

The Hunanese said, "Do you think he will survive?"

The Tibetan shrugged. "We must trust that Palden Lhamo will protect and guide
him now." "And if she does not?"

"Fate delivered him to us. Who can say what fate will deliver him.? Perhaps no
one will search a beggar child. Perhaps we both will be alive tomorrow to know."

"Or perhaps in another turning of the Wheel."

The Tibetan nodded.

"And if he accesses the data?"

The Tibetan sighed and turned away. "Then that too will be fate. Come, they will
be tracking us."

THE BING JIANG ran like an oil slick under the bridge, black and sluggish. Wang
Jun perched on the bridge's railings soot-stained stone engraved with dragons
and phoenixes cavorting through clouds. He looked down into the river and
watched styrofoam shreddings of packing containers float lazily on the thick
surface of the water. Trying to hit a carton, he hawked phlegm and spat. He
missed, and his mucus joined the rest of the river's effluent. He looked at the
cube again. Turning it in his hands as he had done several times before as he
waited for the man with the white gloves. It was blue, with the smoothness of
all highly engineered plastics. Its texture reminded him of a tiny plastic chair
he had once owned. It had been a brilliant red but smooth like this. He had
begged from it until a stronger boy took it.

Now he turned the blue cube in his hands, stroking its surface and probing its
black data jack with a speculative finger. He wondered if it might be more
valuable than the glasses he now wore. Too large for his small head, they kept
slipping down off his nose. He wore them anyway, delighted by the novelty of
day-sight in darkness. He pushed the glasses back up on his nose and turned the
cube again.

He checked for the man with white gloves and saw none. He turned the cube in his
hands. Wondering what might be on it that would kill a foreigner.

The man with white gloves did not come.

Wang Jun coughed and spit again. If the man did not come before he counted ten
large pieces of styrofoam, he would keep the cube and sell it.

Twenty styrofoam pieces later, the man with white gloves had not come, and the
sky was beginning to lighten. Wang Jun stared at the cube. He considered
throwing it in the water. He waited as nongmin began filtering across the bridge
with their pull-carts laden with produce. Peasants coming in from the
countryside, they leaked into the city from the wet fertile fields beyond, with
mud between their toes and vegetables on their backs. Dawn was coming.
Huojianzhu glistened, shining huge and alive against a lightening sky. He
coughed and spit again and hopped off the bridge. He dropped the datacube in a
ragged pocket. The Tibetan wouldn't be able to find him anyway.

Sunlight filtered through the haze of the city. Chengdu absorbed the heat.
Humidity oozed out of the air, a freak change in temperature, a last wave of
heat before winter came on. Wang Jun sweated. He found ThreeFingers Gao in a
game room. Gao didn't really have three fingers. He had ten, and he used them
all as he controlled a three-dimensional soldier through the high mountains of
Tibet against the rebellion. He was known in Chengdu's triad circles as the man
who had made TexTel's Chief Rep pay 10,000 yuan a month in protection money
until he rotated back to Singapore. Because of the use of three fingers.

Wang Jun tugged Three-Fingers's leather jacket. Distracted, Three-Fingers died
under an onslaught of staff-wielding monks.

He scowled at Wang Jun. "What?"

"I got something to sell."

"I don't want any of those boards you tried to sell me before. I told you,
they're no good without the hearts."

Wang Jun said, "I got something else."

"What?"

He held out the glasses and Three-Fingers's eyes dilated. He feigned
indifference. "Where did you get those?"

"Found them."

"Let me see."

Wang Jun released them to Three-Fingers reluctantly. Three-Fingers put them on,
then took them off and tossed them back at Wang Jun. "I'11 give you twenty for
them." He turned back to start another game.

"I want one hundred."

"Mei me'er." He used Beijing slang. No way. He started the game. His soldier
squatted on the plains, with snowy peaks rising before him. He started forward,
pushing across short grasses to a hut made of the skin of earlier Chinese
soldiers. Wang Jun watched and said, "Don't go in the hut."

"I know."

"I'll take fifty."

Three-Fingers snorted. His soldier spied horsemen approaching and moved so that
the hut hid him from their view. "I'll give you twenty."

Wang Jun said, "Maybe BeanBean will give me more."

"I'll give you thirty, go see if BeanBean will give you that." His soldier
waited until the horsemen clustered. He launched a rocket into their center. The
game machine rumbled as the rocket exploded. "You have thirty now?"

Three-Fingers turned away from his game and his soldier perished quickly as
bio-engineered yakmen boiled out of the hut. He ignored the screams of his
soldier as he counted out the cash to Wang Jun. Wang Jun left Three-Fingers to
his games and celebrated the sale by finding an unused piece of bridge near the
Bing Jiang. He settled down to nap under it through the sweltering afternoon
heat.

He woke in the evening and he was hungry. He felt the heaviness of coins in his
pocket and thought on the possibilities of his wealth. Among the coins, his
fingers touched the unfamiliar shape of the data cube. He took it out and turned
it in his hands. He had nearly forgotten the origin of his money. Holding the
data cube, he was reminded of the Tibetan and the Hunanese and his mission. He
considered seeking out the Tibetan and returning it to him, but deep inside he
held a suspicion that he would not find the man selling tiger bones tonight. His
stomach rumbled. He dropped the datacube back into his pocket and jingled the
coins it resided with. Tonight he had money in his pockets. He would eat well.

"How much for mapo dofu?"

The cook looked at him from where he stood, swirling a soup in his broad wok,
and listening to it sizzle.

"Too expensive for you, Little Wang. Go and find somewhere else to beg. I don't
want you bothering my customers."

"Shushu, I have money." Wang Jun showed him the coins. "And I want to eat."

The cook laughed. "Xiao Wang is rich! Well then, Little Wang, tell me what you
care for."

"Mapo dofu, yu xiang pork, two liang of rice and Wu Xing beer." His order
tumbled out in a rush.

"Little Wang has a big stomach! Where will you fit all that food, I wonder?"
When Wang Jun glared at him he said, "Go, sit, you'll have your feast."

Wang Jun went and sat at a low table and watched as the fire roared and the cook
threw chiles into the wok to fry. He wiped at his mouth to keep from drooling as
the smell of the food came to his nose. The cook's wife opened a bottle of Five
Star for him, and he watched as she poured the beer into a wet glass. The day's
heat was dissipating. Rain began to spatter the street restaurant's burlap roof.
Wang Jun drank from his beer and watched the other diners, taking in the food
they ate and the company they kept. These were people he might have previously
harassed for their money. But not tonight. Tonight he was a king. Rich, with
money in his pocket.

His thoughts were broken by the arrival of a foreigner. A broad man with long
white hair pulled back in a horse's tail. His skin was pale and he wore white
gloves. He stepped under the sheltering burlap and cast alien blue eyes across
the diners. The Chinese at their tables stared back. When his eyes settled on
Wang Jun's bent form, he smiled. He went to squat on a stool across from Wang
Jun and said, in accented Mandarin, "You are Little Wang. You have something for
me."

Wang Jun stared at the man and then, feeling cocky with the attention of the
Other Chinese said, "Ke neng." Maybe.

The foreigner frowned, then leaned across the table. The cook's wife came,
interrupting, and set down Wang Jun's mapo dofu, followed quickly by the pork.
She went and scooped out a steaming bowl of rice, broader than Wang Jun's hand
and set it before him. Wang Jun picked up chopsticks and began shoveling the
food into his mouth, all the while watching the foreigner. His eyes watered at
the spiciness of the dofu and his mouth tingled with the familiar numbing of
ground peppercorns.

The wife asked if the foreigner would eat with him, and Wang Jun eyed the
foreigner. He felt the money in his pocket, while his mouth flamed on. He looked
at the size of the foreigner and assented reluctantly, feeling his wealth now
inadequate. They spoke in Chengdu hua, the dialect of the city, so that the
foreigner did not understand what they said. The man watched as the wife scooped
another bowl of rice and set it in front of him with a pair of chopsticks. He
looked down at the white mountain of rice in his bowl and then looked up at Wang
Jun. He shook his head, and said, "You have something for me. Give it to me
now."

Wang Jun was stung by the foreigner's disregard of the offered food. Because he
was unhappy he said, "Why should I give it to you?"

The pale white man frowned and his blue eyes were cold and angry. "Did not the
Tibetan tell you to give me something?" He held out a white-gloved hand.

Wang Jun shrugged. "You didn't come to the bridge. Why should I give it to you
now?"

"Do you have it?"

Wang Jun became guarded. "No."

"Where is it?"

"I threw it away."

The man reached across the small table and grasped Wang Jun's ragged collar. He
pulled him close. "Give it to me now. You are very small, I can take it or you
can give it to me. Little Wang, you cannot win tonight. Do not test me."

Wang Jun stared at the foreigner and saw silver flash in the man's breast
pocket. On impulse he reached for the glint of sliver and drew a thing up until
it was between their two faces. Other people at nearby tables gasped at what
Wang Jun held. Wang Jun's hand began to shake, quivering uncontrollably, until
the Tibetan's severed finger, with its tarnished silver and turquoise ring still
on it, slipped from his horrified grasp and landed in the yuxiang pork.

The foreigner smiled, an indifferent, resigned smile. He said, "Give me the
datacube before I collect a trophy from you as well." Wang Jun nodded and slowly
reached into his pocket. The foreigner's eyes followed his reaching hand.

Wang Jun's free hand reached desperately out to the table and grabbed a handful
of scalding dofu from its plate. Before the man could react, he drove the
contents, full of hot chiles and peppercorns, into those cold blue eyes. As the
foreigner howled, Wang Jun sank his sharp yellow teeth into the pale flesh of
imprisoning hands. The foreigner dropped Wang Jun to rub frantically at his
burning eye sockets, and blood flowed from his damaged hands.

Wang Jun took his freedom and ran for the darkness and alleys he knew best,
leaving the foreigner still roaring behind him.

The rain was heavier, and the chill was coming back on Chengdu, harder and
colder than before. The concrete and buildings radiated cold, and Wang Jun's
breath misted in the air. He hunched in his box, with its logo for Stone-Ailixin
Computers on the side. He thought it had been used for satellite phones, from
the pictures below the logo. He huddled inside it with the remains of his
childhood.

He could still remember the countryside he had come from and, vaguely, a
mud-brick home. More clearly, he remembered terrace-sculpted hills and running
along those terraces. Playing in warm summer mud with a Micro-Machine VTOL in
his hands while his parents labored in brown water around their ankles and green
rice shoots sprouted up out of the muck. Later, he had passed those same
terraces, lush and unharvested as he made his way out of his silent village.

Under the cold instant-concrete shadows of the skyscrapers, he stroked his toy
VTOL. The wings which folded up and down had broken off and were lost. He turned
it over, looking at its die-cast steel frame. He pulled out the datacube and
stared at it. Weighed the toy and the cube in his hands. He thought of the
Tibetan's finger, severed with its silver snake ring still on it, and shuddered.
The white man with the blue eyes would be looking for him. He looked around at
his box. He put the Micro-Machine in his pocket but left his ratted blanket. He
took his yellow anchuan maozi, the traffic safety hat children wore to and from
school, stolen from a child even smaller than he. He pulled the yellow wool cap
down over his ears, re-pocketed the datacube, and left without looking back.

THREE-FINGERS was crooning karaoke in a bar when Wang Jun found him. A pair of
women with smooth skins and hard empty eyes attended him. They wore red silk
chipao, styled from Shanghai. The collars were high and formal, but the slits in
the dresses went nearly to the women's waists. Three-Fingers glared through the
dim red smoky light when Wang Jun approached.

"What?"

"Do you have a computer that reads these?" He held up the datacube.

Three-Fingers stared at the cube and reached out for it. "Where did you get
that?"

Wang Jun held it out but did not release it. "Off someone."

"Same place you got those glasses?"

"Maybe."

Three-Fingers peered at the datacube. "It's not a standard datacube. See the
pins on the inside?" Wang Jun looked at the datasocket. "There's only three
pins. You need an adapter to read whatever's on there. And you might not even be
able to read it then. Depends what kind of OS it's designed for."

"What do I do?"

"Give it to me."

"No." Wang Jun backed off a step.

One of the women giggled at the interaction between the mini mob boss and street
urchin. She stroked Three-Fingers's chest. "Don't worry about the taofanzhe. Pay
attention to us." She giggled again.

Wang Jun glared. Three-Fingers pushed the hostess off him. "Go away." She made
an exaggerated pout, but left with her companion.

Three-Fingers held out his hand. "Let me see it. I can't help you if you don't
let me see the tamade thing."

Wang Jun frowned but passed the datacube over. Three-Fingers turned it over in
his hands. He peered into the socket, then nodded. "It's for HuangLong OS." He
tossed it back and said, "It's a medical specialty OS. They use it for things
like brain surgery, and DNA mapping. That's pretty specialized. Where'd you get
it?"

Wang Jun shrugged. "Someone gave it to me."

"Fang pi." Bullshit.

Wang Jun was silent and they regarded each other, then Three-Fingers said,
"Xing, I'll buy it off you. Just because I'm curious. I'll give you five yuan.
You want to sell it?"

Wang Jun shook his head.

"Fine. Ten yuan, but that's all."

Wang Jun shook his head again.

Three-Fingers Gao frowned. "Did you get rich, suddenly?"

"I don't want to sell it. I want to know what's on it."

"Well, that makes two of us now." They regarded each other for a time longer.
Three-Fingers said, "All right. I'll help you. But if there's any value to
what's on that, I'm taking three quarters on the profit."

"Yi ban."

Three-Fingers rolled his eyes. "Fine. Half, then."

"Where are we going?"

Three-Fingers walked fast through chill mist. He led Wang Jun into smaller and
smaller alleys. The buildings changed in character from shining modem glass and
steel to mud-brick with thatched and tiled roofs. The streets became cobbled and
jagged and old women stared out at them from dark wooden doorways. Wang Jun
watched the old ladies with suspicion. Their eyes followed him impassively,
recording his and Three-Fingers's passage.

Three-Fingers stopped to pull out a box of Red Pagodas. He put one in his mouth.
"You smoke?"

Wang Jun took the offered stick and leaned close as Three-Fingers struck a
match. It flared high and yellow and then sank low under the pressure of the wet
air. Wang Jun drew hard on the cigarette and blew smoke. Three-Fingers lit his
own.

"Where are we going?"

Three-Fingers shrugged. "Here." He jerked his head at the building behind them.
He smoked for a minute longer, then dropped his cigarette on the damp cobbles
and ground it out with a black boot. "Put out your smoke. It's bad for the
machines." Wang Jun flicked the butt against a wall. It threw off red sparks
where it bounced and then lay smoking on the ground. Three-Fingers pushed open a
wooden door. Its paint was peeling and its frame warped so that he shoved hard
and the door scraped loudly as they entered.

In the dim light of the room, Wang Jun could see dozens of monitors. They glowed
with screen savers and data. He saw columns of characters and numbers,
scrolling, connected to distant networks of information. People sat at the
monitors in a silence broken only by the sound of the keys being pressed at an
incessant rate.

Three-Fingers pulled Wang Jun up to one of the silent technicians and said, "He
Dan, can you read this?" He nudged Wang Jun and Wang Jun held up the datacube.
He Dan plucked it out of Wang Jun's hand with spidery graceful fingers and
brought it close to his eyes in the dimness. With a shrug .he began to sort
through a pile of adapters. He chose one and connected it to a stray cord, then
inserted the adapter into the datacube. He typed on the computer and the borders
and workspaces flickered and changed color. A box appeared and he hit a single
key in response.

"Where am I?" The voice was so loud that the speakers distorted and crackled.
The technicians all jumped as their silence was shattered. He Dan adjusted a
speaker control. The voice came again, softer. "Hello?" It held an edge of fear.
"Is there anyone there?" it asked.

"Yes," said Wang Jun, impulsively.

"Where am I?" the voice quavered.

"In a computer," said Wang Jun.

Three-Fingers slapped him on the back of the head. "Be quiet."

"What?" said the voice.

They listened silently.

"Hello, did someone say I was in a computer?" it said.

Wang Jun said, "Yes, you're in a computer. What are you?"

"I'm in a computer?" The voice was puzzled. "I was having surgery. How am I in a
computer?"

"Who are you?" Wang Jun ignored Three-Fingers's glowering eyes.

"I am Naed Delhi, the 19th Dalai Lama. Who are you?"

The typing stopped. No one spoke. Wang Jun heard the faint whine of cooling fans
and the high resonances of the monitors humming. Technicians turned to stare at
the trio and the computer which spoke. Outside Wang Jun heard someone clear
their throat of phlegm and spit. The computer spoke on, heedless of the effect
of its words. "Hello?" it said. "Who am I speaking to?" "I'm Wang Jun."

"Hello. Why can't I see?"

"You're in a computer. You don't have any eyes."

"I can hear. Why can I hear and yet not see?"

He Dan broke in, "Video input is not compatible with the software emulator which
runs your program."

"I don't understand."

"You are an artificial intelligence construct. Your consciousness is software.
Your input comes from hardware. They are incompatible on the system we have
installed you."

The voice quavered, "I am not software. I am the Dalai Lama of the Yellow Hat
sect. The 19th to be reincarnated as such. It is not my fate to be reincarnated
as software. You are probably mistaken."

"Are you really the Dalai Lama?" Wang Jun asked.

"Yes," the computer said.

"How --" Wang Jun began, but Three-Fingers pulled him away from the system
before he could phrase his question. He knelt in front of Wang Jun. His hands
were shaking as he held Wang Jun by the collar of his shirt. Their faces nearly
touched as he hissed out, "Where did you find this cube?"

Wang Jun shrugged. "Someone gave it to me."

Three-Finger's hand blurred and struck Wang Jun's face. Wang Jun jerked at its
impact. His face burned. The technicians watched as Three-Fingers hissed, "Don't
lie to me. Where did you find this thing?"

Wang Jun touched his face, "From a Tibetan, I got it from a Tibetan who sold
tiger bones, and a man from Hunan. And there was a body. A big foreigner. They
were his glasses I sold you."

Three-Fingers tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. "Don't lie to me. Do
you know what it means if we've got the Dalai Lama on a datacube that you've
been carrying around in your pocket?" He shook Wang Jun. "Do you know what it
means?"

Wang Jun whined, "I was supposed to give it to a man with white gloves, but he
never came. And there was another man. A foreigner and he killed the Tibetan and
took his finger, and he wanted mine too, and I ran and --" his voice rose in a
babbling whine.

Three-Fingers's hands settled around Wang Jun's neck and squeezed until Wang
Jun's ears rang and blackness scudded across his eyes. Distantly, he heard
Three-Fingers say, "Don't cry to me. I'm not your mother. I'll take your tongue
out if you make my life any more difficult than it already is. Do you
understand?"

Wang Jun nodded in his haze.

Three-Fingers released him, saying, "Good. Go talk to the computer." Wang Jun
breathed deeply and stumbled back to the Dalai Lama.

"How did you get inside the computer?" he asked.

"How do you know I am in a computer?"

"Because we plugged your datacube in and then you started talking."

The computer was silent.

"What's it like in there?" Wang Jun tried.

"Terrible and still," said the computer. Then it said, "I was going to have
surgery, and now I am here."

"Did you dream?"

"I don't remember any dreams."

"Are you leading a rebellion against my homeland?"

"You speak Chinese. Are you from China?"

"Yes. Why are you making people fight in Tibet?"

"Where is this computer?"

"Chengdu."

"Oh, my. A long way from Bombay," the computer whispered.

"You came from Bombay?"

"I was having surgery in Bombay."

"Is it lonely in there?"

"I don't remember anything until now. But it is very still here. Deathly still.
I can hear you, but cannot feel anything. There is nothing here. I fear that I
am not here. It is maddening. All of my senses are lost. I want out of this
computer. Help me. Take me back to my body." The computer's voice, vibrating
from the speakers, was begging.

"We can sell him," Three-Fingers said abruptly.

Wang Jun stared at Three-Fingers. "You can't sell him."

"Someone wants him if they're chasing you. We can sell him."

The computer said, "You can't sell me. I have to get back to Bombay. I'm sure my
surgery can't be completed if I'm not there. I must go back. You must take me
back."

Wang Jun nodded in agreement. Three-Fingers smirked. He Dan said, "We need to
unplug him. Without some form of stimuli he may go crazy before you can decide
what to do with him."

"Wait," said the Dalai Lama. "Please don't unplug me yet. I'm afraid. I'm afraid
of being gone again."

"Unplug him," said Three-Fingers.

"Wait," said the computer. "You must listen to me. If my body is dead, you must
destroy this computer you keep me in. I fear that I will not reincarnate. Even
Palden Lhamo may not be able to find my soul. She is Powerful, but though she
rides across an ocean of blood astride the skin of her traitorous son, she may
not find me. My soul will be trapped here, unnaturally preserved, even as my
body decomposes. Promise me, please. You must not leave me --"

He Dan shut off the computer.

Three-Fingers raised his eyebrows at He Dan.

He Dan shrugged. "It could be that it is the Dalai Lama. If there are people
chasing the beggar-child, it lends credence to its claims. It would not be hard
to upload his identity matrix while he was undergoing surgery."

"Who would do that?"

He Dan shrugged. "He is at the center of so many different political conflicts,
it would be impossible to say. In a datacube, he makes a convenient hostage.
Tibetan extremists, Americans, us, perhaps the EU; they would all be interested
in having such a hostage."

Three-Fingers said, "If I'm going to sell him, I'll need to know who put him in
there."

He Dan nodded, and then the door exploded inward. Splinters of wood flew about
and shafts of light illuminated the dim room. Outside there was a whine of VTOLs
and then there were bright lights lancing through the door, followed by the
rapid thud of heavy boots. Wang Jun ducked instinctively as something seemed to
suck the air out of the room and the monitors exploded, showering glass on the
technicians and Wang Jun. People were shouting everywhere around him and Wang
Jun smelled smoke. He stood up and pulled the datacube out of its adapter and
rolled underneath a table as a barrage of pellets ratcheted across the wall
above him.

He saw Three-Fingers fumble with something at his belt and then stiffen as red
blossoms appeared on his chest. Other technicians were failing, all of them
sprouting bloody stains on their bodies. Wang Jun huddled deeper under the table
as forms in black armor came through the door. He put the datacube in his mouth,
thinking he might swallow it before they could find him. More explosions came
and suddenly the wall beside him was gone in a cacophony of bricks and rubble.
He scrambled over the collapsed wall as shouts filled the air. Hunched low and
running, he became nothing except a small child shadow. An irrelevant shadow in
the rain and the play of lights from the troops left behind.

HE CROUCHED in a doorway's shadow, turning the datacube in his hands, stroking
its blue plastic surface with reverential fascination. Rain fell in a cold mist
and his nose dripped with the accumulated moisture. He shivered. The datacube
was cold. He wondered if the Dalai Lama felt anything inside. People walked
along the side-street, ignoring his small shadow in the doorway. They rose as
forms out of the mist, became distinct and individual under the streetlamps and
then disappeared back into shadows.

He had seen the VTOLs rise from a distance, their running lights illuminating
their forms in the darkness. He had watched their wings lower and lock above the
wet tile roofs. Then they were gone in a hissing acceleration. Against his
better judgment he had returned, joining other residents in a slow scavenging
across the rubble of the destroyed building. They moved in a methodical stooped
walk. Picking at brick. Turning shattered monitor screens. Fumbling at the
pockets of the bodies left behind. He had found no trace of Three-Fingers and
doubted he was alive. He Dan he found, but only in pieces.

He turned the datacube again in his hands.

"Where did you get that?"

He jerked skittishly and moved to run, but a hand was holding him and he was
immobile. It was a Chinese woman and she wore white gloves. He stared at the
hand which held him.

"Do you have something for me?" she asked. Her Mandarin was clear and educated,
perfect, as though she came from Beijing itself.

"I don't know."

"Is that yours?"

"No."

"Were you supposed to give it to me?"

"I don't know."

"I missed you at the bridge."

"Why didn't you come?"

"There were delays," she said and her eyes became hooded and dark. Wang Jun
reached out to hand her the datacube. "You have to be careful with it. It has
the Dalai Lama."

"I know. I was coming to you. I was afraid I had lost you. Come." She motioned
him. "You are cold. There is a bed and food waiting for you." She motioned again
and he followed her out of the doorway and into the rain.

She led him through the wet streets. In his mind, the images of VTOLs and
exploding monitors and Three-Fingers's blossoming red mortality made him wary as
they crossed intersections and bore along the old streets of Chengdu.

The woman held his hand firm in hers, and she bore him with direction and
purpose so that no matter how many twists and turns they took, they were always
closer to the organic skeleton of the city core. It rose above them, glowing.
Dwarfing them and the constructors who swung from it on gossamer lines. They
swarmed it as ants might, slowly growing their nest.

Then they were under its bones, walking through the wet organic passageways of
the growing creature. Wang Jun smelled compost and death. The air grew warm and
humid as they headed deeper into the architectural animal. Glowing chips
embedded in the woman's wrists passed them through construction checkpoints
until they came to a lift, a cage that rose up through Huojianzhu's internals,
sliding on smooth organic rails. Through the bars of the cage Wang Jun saw
levels completed, shining and habitable, the walls with the appearance of
polished steel, and fluorescent lamps, glowing, in their brackets. He saw levels
where only the segmented superstructure of the beast existed. A monster with its
bones exposed; wet slick things sheened with a biological ooze. Hardening
silicon mucus coated the bones, flowed, and built up successive layers to form
walls. Huojianzhu grew and where it grew the Biotects and constructors oversaw,
guiding and ensuring that its growth followed their carefully imagined
intentions. The beautiful woman, and Wang Jun with her, rose higher.

They came to a level nearly complete. Her feet echoed in a hallway, and she came
to a door. Her hand leaned gently on the surface of the door and its skin moved
slightly under her pressure so that Wang Jun was unsure if the door molded to
her hand or reached out to caress it. The door swung open and Wang Jun saw the
luxury of the heights of which he had always dreamed.

In a room with a bed so soft his back ached and with pillows so fluffy he
believed he smothered, he woke. There were voices. "-- a beggar. No one," she
said.

"Then blank him and turn him out."

"He helped us."

"Leave his pocket with money, then."

Their voices became distant, and though he wished he could stay awake, he slept
again.

Wang Jun sank into the enveloping cushions of a chair so deep that his feet
could not touch the polished elegance of the real wooden floors. He was well
rested now, having climbed finally out of the womb of bedding and pillows which
had tangled him. Around him, shanshui paintings hung from smooth white walls,
and recessed shelves held intricately fired vases from China's dynasties, long
dead and gone. The kitchen he had already made acquaintance with, watching the
lady who looked Chinese but wasn't as she prepared a mountain of food for him on
burners that flared like suns, and made tea with water that scalded as it came
from the faucet. In other rooms, lights glowed on and off as he entered and
departed, and there was carpet, soft expanses of pale fiber that were always
warm under his feet. Now he sat in the enveloping chair and watched with dark
eyes as the lady and her foreign companion paced before him. Behind them, the
Dalai Lama's cube sat on a shelf, blue and small.

"Sile?"

Wang Jun started at the sound of her voice, and he felt his heart beating.
Outside the windows of the apartment thick Chengdu mist hung, stagnant and damp.
No more rain. He struggled out of the chair and went to look out the windows. He
could not see the lights of Chengdu's old city below. The mist was too thick.
The woman watched him as her counterpart spoke. "Yeah, either the Chinese or the
Europeans blew his head full of holes. They're just annoyed because they lost
him."

"What should we do?"

"I'm waiting for an indication from the embassy. The Tibetans want us to destroy
him. Keep whining about how his soul won't be reborn, if we don't destroy it."

She laughed. "Why not write him onto a new body?"

"Don't be sacrilegious."

"That's how they see it? Fanatics can be so -- "

" -- intractable," he finished for her.

"So this whole mission is a waste?"

"He's not much good to us without his body. The Tibetans won't recognize him if
we write him onto a new body and he's no good as leverage against the Chinese if
he doesn't have a following.

"She sighed. "I wish we didn't have to work with them."

"Without the Tibetans, we wouldn't even have known to look for the kid."

"Well, now they're threatening that if we don't give him back, the Pali Lama is
going to flay our skins, or something."

"Palden Lhamo,' said the man.

"What?"

He repeated, "Palden Lhamo. She's a Tibetan goddess. Supposed to be the
protector of Tibet and our digital friend." He jerked his head at the datacube
sitting on its shelf. "The paintings of her show her riding a mule across seas
of blood and using the flayed skin of her son as a saddle blanket."

"What a lovely culture they've got."

"You should see the paintings: Red hair, necklaces of skulls --"

"Enough."

Wang Jun said, "Can I open the window?"

The woman looked over at the man; he shrugged.

"Suibian," she said.

Wang Jun undid the securing clasps and rolled the wide window open. Chill air
washed into the room. He peered down into the orange glow of the mist, leaning
far out into the air. He stroked the spongy organic exoskeleton of the building,
a resilient honeycomb of holes. Below, he could just make out the shifting
silhouettes of constructors clambering across the surface of the structure.
Behind him the conversation continued.

"So what do we do?"

He waved at the datacube. "We could always plug his eminence into a computer and
ask him for advice."

Wang Jun's ears perked up. He wanted to hear the man inside the computer again.

"Would the Chinese be interested in a deal, even if his body is gone?"

"Maybe. They'd probably keep his cube in a desk drawer. Let it gather dust. If
he never reincarnated, it would be fine with them. One less headache for them to
deal with."

"Maybe we'll be able to trade him for something still, then."

"Not much, though. So what if he does reincarnate? It'll be twenty years before
he has an effect on them." He sighed. "Trade talks start tomorrow. This
operation's starting to look like a scrub at the home office. They're already
rumbling about extracting us before the talks begin. At least the EU didn't get
him."

"Well, I'll be glad to get back to California."

"Yeah."

Wang Jun turned from his view and asked, "Will you kill him?"

The pair exchanged looks. The man turned away, muttering under his breath. Wang
Jun held in his response to the man's rudeness. Instead he said, "I'm hungry."

"He's hungry, again," muttered the man.

"We only have instants, now," said the woman.

"Xing," said Wang Jun. The woman went into the kitchen and Wang Jun's eyes
fastened on the dark blue sheen of the datacube, sitting on its shelf.

"I'm cold," said the man. "Close the window."

Wang Jun sniffed at the aroma of frying food coming from the woman and the
kitchen. His belly rumbled, but he went to the window. "Okay."

The mist clung to him as he clung to the superstructure of the biologic city.
His fingers dug into its spongy honeycomb skin and he heard the rush of Chengdu
far below, but could not see it through the mist. He heard curses and looked up.
Light silhouetted the beautiful woman who looked Chinese but wasn't and the man
as they peered out of their luxury apartment window from high above.

He dug a fist deeper into the honeycomb wall and waved at them them with his
free hand, and then climbed lower with the self-confident ease of a beggar
monkey. He looked up again to see the man make to climb out the window, and then
the woman pulled him back in.

He descended. Slipping deeper into the mist, clambering for the slick safety of
the pavement far below. He passed constructors and Biotects, working late-night
shifts. They all hung precariously from the side of the mountainous building,
but only he was so daring as to climb the skin of the creature without the
protection of a harness. They watched him climb by with grave eyes, but they
made no move to stop him. Who were they to care if his fingers slipped and he
fell to the infinitely distant pavement? He passed them and continued his
descent.

When he looked up again, seeking the isolated window from which he had issued,
it was gone. Lost in the thickness of the chill mist. He guessed the man and
woman would not follow. That they would have more pressing concerns than to find
a lone beggar boy with a useless datacube somewhere in the drizzling streets of
Chengdu. He smiled to himself. They would pack and go home to their foreign
country and leave him to remain in Chengdu. Beggars always remained.

His arms began to shake with strain as his descent continued. The climb was
already taking him longer than he had guessed possible. The sheer size of the
core was greater than he had ever imagined. His fingers dug into the spongy
biomass of Huojianzhu's skin, seeking another hold. The joints of his fingers
ached and his arms trembled. It was cold this high even though the night air was
still. The wet mist and the damp spongy walls he clung to chilled his fingers,
numbing them and making him unsure of his handholds. He watched where he placed
each hand in an agony of care, seeking stability and safety with every grip.

For the first time he wondered how long it would be until he fell. The descent
was too long, and the clinging chill was sinking deeper into his bones. The
mists parted and he could see the lights of Chengdu proper, spread out below
him. His hopes sank as he saw finally how high he hung above the city.

He dug for another hand-hold and when he set his weight against it, the spongy
mass gave way and he was suddenly dangling by a single weak hand while the
Chengdu lights spun crazily below him. He scrabbled desperately for another
hand-hold. He dug his feet deep into the spongy surface and found one. He saw
where his slipping hand had tom away the wall. There was a deep rent, and from
it, the milky blood of the biostructure dripped slowly. His heart beat faster
staring at Huojianzhu's mucus wound and he imagined himself slipping and
falling; spattering across the pavement while his blood ran slick and easy into
the street gutters. He fought to control his rising panic as his arms trembled
and threatened to give way. Then he forced himself to move his limbs and
descend, to seek some respite from the climb, a hope of survival on the harsh
skin of the core.

He spoke to himself. Told himself that he would survive. That he would not fall
and die on the pavement of the street. Not he. Not Xiao Wang. No. Not Xiao Wang
at all. Not Little Wang anymore. Wang Jun; Soldier Wang. Twisted and bent though
he was, Soldier Wang would survive. He smiled to himself. Wang Jun would
survive. He continued his descent with shaking arms and numbed fingers, picking
each hold carefully, and eventually when he began to believe that he could climb
no more, he found a hole in Huojianzhu's skin and swung himself into the safety
of the ducts of the animal structure.

Standing on a firm surface he turned and looked out at Chengdu's spread lights.
In a few more years all of Chengdu would be overwhelmed by the spreading core.
He wondered where a beggar boy would run then. What streets would be left open
for those such as he? He reached into his pocket and felt the hard edges of the
datacube. He drew it from his pocket, and gazed on its smooth blue perfect
surface. Its perfect geometric edges. So much consternation over the man who
lived inside. He hefted the cube. It was light. Too light to hold the whole of a
person. He remembered his brief interaction with the Dalai Lama, in a dark room
under the glow of monitors. He squeezed the cube tight in his hand and then went
to the edge of the duct. Chengdu lay below him.

He cocked his arm to throw. Winding it back to launch the Dalai Lama in his
silicon cell out into the empty air. To arc and fall, faster and faster until he
shattered against the distant ground and was released, to begin again his cycle
of rebirth. He held his arm cocked, then whipped it forward in a trajectory of
launch. When his arm had completed its swing, the datacube and the Dalai Lama
still sat safe in his palm. Smooth and blue and undamaged.

He considered it. Stroking it, feeling its contours in his hand. Then he slid it
back into his pocket and swung himself out, once again onto the skin of
Huojianzhu. He smiled as he climbed, digging his fingers into the living flesh
of the building. He wondered how long this infinity of climbing would last, and
if he would reach the streets whole or as a bloody pulp. Chengdu seemed a long
way below.

The datacube rested in his pocket. If he fell, it would shatter and the Dalai
Lama would be released. If he survived? For now he would keep it. Later,
perhaps, he would destroy it. The Dalai Lama was asleep in the cube, and would
not overly mind the longer wait. And, Wang Jun thought, who in all the world of
important people could say, as he could say, that he had the Dalai Lama in his
pocket?

PROXIES

I BLINKED SIX TIMES AND checked the big liquid-crystal chrono that faced the hopchairs in the recovery room. I had been gone for three days, which pissed me off right from the start. Headhopper had only contracted for two.

When I looked down at the body I got mad all over again. Bruises around the wrists, ankles; infected bite marks on the shoulders and breasts. Sick soreness between the legs. Pisswa! I lunged to my feet and then fell back again into the squish-gel cushions of my hopchair. The dark fuzzy cushions molded to cradle the
body. I gripped the chair armsupports until cushion stuff oozed up between the fingers. Dumb hopper hadn't fed the body properly.

Those are the worst renters of all, the ones who have no manners and no sense of future. I spend half my waking time working to buff up the bod so someone else can enjoy it, and this is what I come home to? I had Things to Say to that permo-twitch in screening. But first I needed to suck down a gallon of totalnute, and disinfect and treat the wounds. Who knew what other nasty surprises the hophead had left?

The room still smelled of hopjuice and ozone and transfer jitters, and of the body, unpleasantly. Not even a shower before the hop? Damned hopper!

I looked around. Soft illumination came from a light ring near the conical apex of the room. Consoles and check-screens in the curved dark walls flickered and blinked and uttered small beeps, alive but unattended. Both the flush-mounted doors, one to the corridor and one to a closet, were closed. Footprints hashed
the short dark fuzzcarpet on the floor.

The brain imprinter stood like a hunched black metal person behind the hopchairs, its tentacles dangling and its screens blank. The other hopchair was empty. It looked like a dark shiny egg cut in half with an scurve, the surface of the cut all squish-gel cushioning. Most of the monitoring and invasive equipment was hidden under the cushions.

How come the hophead was gone and I was still here? Not that I wanted to see him or her. But we should be processing simultaneously.

"Hey! Permo-tweak! Where's my rations?" I yelled.

Getting mad is a bad idea when you're a sharebody. I knew that. There were a few minutes either side of a hop when nobody was home in the body, and when nobody was home, burglars and vandals could get in and mess things up. Treat your service people like the tweaks they were, and they could get nasty. And you could never pin it on them. There were always two or more administering hopjuice and catering to the imprinter and the monitors; nothing ever stuck to them.

But when you're an omnimatch and you keep in shape and ask for top megadollar, you don't expect low-class hopheads. I was a top of the line Type O, at least before this hopper messed me up. I could tell illegal mones or stroids had been involved, the way my anger kept cycling and building.

Nobody answered me. Damned tweaks.

I monitored my breathing and did some mind exercises to control spoilspurts and spillers, hophead legacies one often came home to. The anger died down a little. I stretched while sitting, testing all the muscles. Weak and abused. Breathe. Deal with it. Move on.

My attorney was going to squeeze this last hopper, oh yes.

"Hello?" I said, toning the voice down. "Hello? Sorry about that last yell. Leftover mones. I'm not myself yet."

No one came. Violation of procedure. When one is in recovery there are supposed to be service people present until a complete recovery is achieved, proved by matching a brain-wave profile with the original pattern, either the sharebody's or the hopper's.

I'd never come home to such a bad place, not even when I first started out sharing the body and had no idea of what kind of contracts to sign. The recovery room looked like the one I usually woke up in at Class Acts, but a room was nothing. The body was everything. It took caregivers to get you back to
yourself. Damned tweaks.

I looked at the equipment embedded in the dark walls. There was a dispenser over  there that would give me totalnute and whatever else I needed, if I could get that far, and if I could figure out the programming. I'd never tried to run a Class Acts dispenser before. I wasn't sure using a home dispenser qualified me.

I tried standing again, then sat down. Not yet.

I felt the input on the back of the neck to reassure myself that whoever had  hopped me had pulled the plug, unhooked me from the imprinter. Someone had been here to return me to the body. Where had they gone?

The door opened. Someone edged in, his back to me.

"Where've you been?" I demanded, then took a couple breaths to moderate my
anger. "I need totalnute. Please. What's going on?"

He turned around and I saw he was wearing a headcam, the zoom lens sticking out
in front of his right eye. It focused on me.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Press," he said. "You the sharebody hosted Livida?"

"What?" Livida, the biggest sensie-star on the continent? Why would she need a
sharebody? She looked better on a bad day than I had ever looked.

He came closer. His lens scoped me up and down, focusing on the bruises, the
bite marks. Finally he zoomed in on the face.

"Cut it out!" I said, lifting the hands to shield the face, peeking at him
between the fingers. Anonymity was in my contract. I appreciated it when I was
home, and my hoppers liked it when they were visiting.

"What's the story?" he said, reaching for the hands.

"The story is I can kick you in the nuts and break your headcam if you don't
start being polite."

He took two steps back. He flipped the lens up and looked at me with his own
eyes. "Come on," he said. "You must have a story to tell. Do you remember any of
what happened?"

"Bud, I just got back. All I know is I'm injured, my service people aren't here,
and I need rations and healing. You tell me what's the Story."

He elevated his eyebrows. "Don't want to pollute a possible source," he said.
"C'mon. How'd you get those marks?"

"How should I know? I wasn't here."

"How could you be anywhere else?"

"That's what a sharebody does. Gets out of the body while someone else uses it.
You sure are ignorant. What newsource do you work for, anyway ?"

"The Tell-All," he said, and I flinched. Dumb-ass news channel, first on the
spot with fake facts and harmful speculations. They'd done a piece on
sharebodies not too long ago that made us sound like instruments of the Devil,
implied that anyone who wanted to keep their souls safe should stay away from
us. The story did cause an upsurge in customers, but it scared my sister too. I
hated anything that tweaked April's stability. It was all she could do in that
broken-up body of hers to maintain her sanity while she waited for her clone to
ripen.

"So tell me again, for the record, your side of this whole thing," he said.

"Forget it! And give me that tape you got when you first came in or I'll see you
in court!"

"Tape? Shows what you know. My link feeds directly back to the station."

"Tell them they better not use any of that or they'll be in lawsuit hell."

He shrugged and flipped his lens back over his eye. "They're always in lawsuit
hell. They live for lawsuit hell. What's your name?"

"None of your damned business! Get out of here! Help, someone!" I looked around
for a call button. Seemed to me there should be one around here, even though I'd
never had to use one; service people had always been present when I needed them.
I spotted a red button on the outside of the hopchair's arm-support and pressed
it hard three times.

Finally a big dark man in Class Act blues came in. "Help, please!" I yelped,
pointing at the reporter, and the service guy grabbed him and kicked him out.

"Thank you. Thank you," I said.

"You the one all the shouting's about?" asked the orderly.

"I don't know. I haven't heard any shouting, except from that Tell-All guy.
What's going on?"

He looked me over, frowned, and went to the wall dispenser. "You haven't had
follow-up, have you?"

"Worst wakeup so far. Dumb hophead left me all messed up, moning and nobody
around to give me nute," I agreed.

He brought me a big frosty glass of tickleberry totalnute with a straw in it. I
didn't like that flavor. I sucked it up anyway and felt better right away.
"Thanks," I said, when I'd finished. I could feel all those nutrients seeping
into the system, strengthening me. "Thanks." I flexed the wrists and ankles.
Already the hurt was less.

"Better start you on antibiotics," he said, and gave me a shot.

"My savior," I said to this guy. Then: "Is it true, about Livida?"

"Seems likely."

"Livida was in my body? Why? What happened?"

"Nearest I can tell, she just wanted to walk around and not be recognized. She's
hopped before, I guess. But somebody squatched. She had a stalker. He found her
while she was in your body, kidnapped her, tortured her. Another nute?"

"Yes, please. Vanilla?"

"Sure." He fetched me another. "Weird kind of crime. Now she's back in her own
body, feeling no pain, and giving a press conference. And here you are without
even a follow-up. Sucks."

"So right." I closed the eyes and drank totalnute, feeling at last a certain
peace as systems stabilized. "Hope she doesn't skreek me for the extra day." I
could use the money. I was already buying April the best clone you could get,
but it didn't hurt to have some bucks put away in case they came up with more
and better mods, which they often did. Sometimes I let April headhop into me,
but it was expensive-- I could skip my own fee, but I had to pay prep, transfer,
and follow-up fees, and every time I did it I was losing income I might
otherwise have made. April understood. Every once in a while, she needed a hop,
though.

"An interesting problem," said the service guy. "Livida didn't stay away on
purpose, unless this was a publicity stunt. Who's dabie?"

"Insurance, maybe. Don't know whose, though. They caught the stalker?"

"Nope. He kept her and played with her for a day, then wrapped her up in orange
parachute silk, taped her mouth and eyes -- sorry, your mouth and eyes, there's
still some adhesive; let me clean that up -- and dropped her off in the
Dumpmaster out back, where one of the cooks found you about half an hour ago."
He dampened a rag with some sort of cleanser and wiped it gently over the eyes
and mouth. With all the other disturbances in the body, I hadn't even noticed
how sticky the face felt.

I licked my lip. "They collect any evidence?"

"Yeah," he said. "He washed you off pretty good, but not completely. Genemap
should be ready sometime soon. They'll catch him. How you feeling?"

"Much better. Thanks again."

"Good. You're welcome."

"I was hyped on mones, or maybe stroids, when I woke up. Could you check my
balance, please?"

"Sure," he said, and pressed a scanner against my arm. "Mones, huh? True what
they say about you shades, you can taste your own blood without biting
yourself?"

"Not exactly," I said. "I just have a real good sense of what I should feel
like, and this isn't it." I did some stretching exercises. Strength was flowing
back into the muscles. I did some stretching exercises in my mind too. I'd never
had a conversation like this with a service person. "This stalker guy, he hurt
the body, and he didn't feed it. Wasn't a nice place to wake up in."

He studied the read-out on the scanner. "Hmm. Not mones. Some new kind of
crystal. Better get you an evener." He went back to the wall dispenser and keyed
in a request, came back with a hypo, sent its contents into the bloodstream.

"Thanks," I said for about the thirtieth time. I could feel the anger dying
down. Yes! Body was more and more mine again. "What's your name?" I couldn't
remember the number of hops I'd made. I couldn't remember a service person who'd
been so nice to me before.

"Patrick. what's yours?"

"Marlena when I'm home. Sharebody 209 when I'm not."

"Nice to meet you," he said.

We shook hands. I felt extremely peculiar. I had two friends; both of them had
started sharebodying about the same time I did. I had my sister. The rest of the
world was full of people who might or might not use my services, might or might
not do something for me -- training medical care, hopjuicing, whatever, mostly
depending on whether I had credit or not.

Two friends, a sister, now Patrick.

I flexed things, testing, and found that my coordination and strength were at
about two thirds normal. "I feel much better," I said. I got to my feet.

"Must be weird, stuff happens to you, you don't even remember it," he said.

I shrugged. What I really wanted was a shower, but that would have to wait. I
got my yellow coverall from the closet. I was glad it had long sleeves and
ankle-length legs. I pulled it on, took a tie-back from the pocket, and tied my
hair into a tail. "It's just...what happens," I told him. "Sometimes I'm walking
down the street and someone recognizes me. Talks to me. Reminds me about that
night we spent together, or something." I glanced clown at the chip implanted on
the inside of my right wrist. SB2090 it said, in tiny letters. "Then I show them
this. Instant deep freeze." I smiled at him. I didn't know why. I made more
money in two days than he could make in two months, and I didn't even have to be
awake while I did it. Sure, I put in the work: I kept the body up. Exercise,
nutrition, medcare, dental work, skin care, spa care, hair styling. Left me a
lot of time to do whatever else I wanted, though.

Mostly sitting with April, plugging in to media, seeing what I had missed while
someone else was walking around in the body.

Watching Livida in the sensics, as she romanced, danced, and found pleasures, as
she went on adventures and stirred up intrigues. She was always so cool. She was
always thinking. She was always beautiful. Never at a loss in a social
situation.

When I met people on the street who had known not-me, I wondered how the
headhoppers had gotten them to talk to the body. Some of these strangers were
beautiful, even. When I was home in the body I would never have approached
people who looked like that. I mean, I knew I'd done a lot for my physique, but
my face, well, it was just plain. I never had paid for any facesculpting;
sometimes people like plain -- if it's a visit, not a lifetime.

Once a man came up to me and kissed me. "Gabrielle!" he said, touching my face
and smiling down at me.

I wanted to smile back and pretend. But I knew if I did, things would be worse
as soon as he figured it out. So I gave him my half-smile, and showed him my
wrist. His eyes went wide. He stepped back from me, red staining his face. He
turned and stumbled away.

Such little broken dreams, half started, never finding their close because I was
not the sum body they had met.

Hopheads shrugged into my body like it was a suit of clothes. They looked like
me. They didn't act like me. What was it they did that I didn't?

Livida never had problems like this.

Or maybe she did.

Was her stalker stalking her, or the people she played in the sensics? Did he
even know there was a difference?

Did he realize he had split the hurt he caused in half? Livida would remember
it; I would feel it.

"Doesn't that seem strange to you?" Patrick asked me.

I couldn't remember what we had been talking about.

He picked up on it right away. "People thinking they know you when you don't
know them back. Doesn't that feel weird?"

"This is a big city. It doesn't happen that often." I didn't tell him about
walking into a bar and seeing a 3D postcard hanging on the back wall with other
bright-colored snippets of travels: me and this fat balding guy, standing next
to a strong-up marlin on some fishing boat in the Caribbean. We were both
laughing. Well, whoever had hopped into me was laughing along with the Big
Sportsman, anyway. His wife? His male lover trying a new wrinkle?

I didn't look at the back of the postcard. "Having a wonderful time. Wish you
were here," probably. I found another neighborhood bar instead.

"My face okay?" I asked.

"Clean and no bruises, anyway," said Patrick.

"Thanks," I said to him for the hundredth time. I'd never thanked anybody so
much in my entire life. I wanted to tip him really well, but that seemed rude.
Maybe I could tip him at a credit terminal downstairs. I checked his ID badge.
HURON, it said.

"I better get home," I said. "I hope someone explained things to my sister. But
I bet they didn't." Maybe I should call her. I looked around for a link. Not a
feature of recovery rooms, apparently.

"She watch the news?" asked Patrick.

"Damn!" That stupid reporter and his headcam!

"You didn't sign a release, did you?"

"Nope. Guy didn't care. Works for Tell-Al1. Said they live for lawsuits."

"Damn," said Patrick. "I'11 walk you out."

"Thanks," I said again.

He went through the door first. Then he turned and pushed me back into the room.
Lights shone around his edges: cams aimed our direction. Voices called
questions. He keyed a code into the doorpad, and the door slid shut and locked.
"Press out there like flies on syrup," he said. He lifted his wrist: he had a
comlink on it. He touched a button and spoke. "Security?"

"Chief?"

"What are all these press people doing in the secure area on floor 23?"

"Agel gave them the go-ahead."

"Has she lost her mind? This is not exactly positive publicity. Get them out of
here."

"Will do."

He flipped the cover down on the comlink and glanced at me.

I went and sat down in the hopchair again. "You're not a caregiver."

"Not generally."

"Huh. Can I call my sister on your wristcom?"

He shook his head. "Internal frequency only. Sorry. We'll be out of here in a
few minutes."

We sat quiet for a little while. Presently he said, "Do you know who was
supposed to be on your recovery team?"

I shook my head. "By the time I settled in there was no one here."

"It'll be on record somewhere," he muttered. He shook his head too. "They're all
fired. Just so you know. Tweaks."

"Fired?"

"Not doing their jobs. Omnimatches are rare! What got into them, leaving you
like that?"

"Livida?" I guessed.

"No excuse," he said.

I thought about that. My contract with Class Acts specified certain minimal
care, and they hadn't given it to me, it was true. I could jump to some other
Headhop Emporium. I could even sue if I wanted to, but it would probably poison
the well for me as to future employment. On the other hand, omnimatches were
rare. Most sharebodies could only be used by one or two of the twelve
mind-types. A template like mine didn't happen very often.

April and I were trying to train her clone to be another such, though. April
headhopped into the developing body daily as it lay dormant in a wash of nute
and thought for its brain so that it would be ready to receive her when it
ripened. And I hopped in occasionally and did mind-stretching exercises.

The clonemakers were monitoring everything we did. If we were successful...well,
my attorney had patents pending.

The door beeped. Patrick spoke on his wristcom, then went over and keyed in a
number. The door opened.

Livida came in, and the door shut behind her.

She looked exhausted. Not how you were supposed to look after returning from a
hop. While you were gone your body was resting and being refreshed with the best
nute and electrical stimulation available. If you had medical problems they
could be corrected while you were out enjoying yourself. Cosmetic surgery. Eye
surgery. Mods implanted. Fact, you could wear out your sharebody, if you got
that kind of contract and paid enough, and come home to a really comfortable
place.

She looked tired, and her eyes were puffy, her nose red. Real crying. She came
and stood in front of me, held out hands I had seen in twenty sensics. "I'm so
sorry," said that voice. It had a million layers of extra meaning in it. I
couldn't think of a single way to answer.

She reached for the hands, and I lifted them. She took them and stared at their
backs, stroked a thumb across the knuckle. "These were mine for a little while,"
she said.

I stared at her thumbnail. There was a nick in the edge of it. I'd seen her
hands more times than I could count, felt as close to inside them as I could get
without headhopping, and I'd never seen a nick in one of her nails before.

"Ms. Redmond, how much did you tell the press?" Patrick asked before I could
figure out why it felt so strange to hold hands with someone I'd never met but
thought I knew very well.

"I don't know," Livida said, her voice troubled. "I've never ended a hop the way
this one ended. I don't know what happened. I can't remember what I was telling
them, only they seemed so much more loud than usual. Usually I feel much calmer,
much more ready to face things. Usually my publicist makes sure no one knows
I've hopped at all, and there's no press. I can't remember -- I can't -- I --"

I stood up and steered her into the other hopchair. "It's the crystal," I said.

"But the crystal was in your body," Patrick said. "How would that translate?"

"Disrupted her thinking patterns. Must not have gotten a good brainwave profile
match when they hopped her home. How did they know it was her?"

"I'll have to see the records. There are six toplines that match no matter what
your mental state, though. The other fourteen are usually a little waggy." He
got out a scanner and pressed it to Livida's arm. His eyebrows rose. "Mimics
crystal, all right," he said. He went to the dispenser, got a hypo, injected it
into Livida's arm. "This should make you feel better, Ms. Redmond."

She sniffed, wiped the tears from her cheeks with her fingertips. "It's been so
awful," she said. "All I want to do is go to sleep .... Oh, that is better.
Thank you." She blinked and looked up at me. Her eyes were violet and intense.
"Body," she said. "I'm so sorry this happened. Before he caught me it was the
best hop I ever made. You are so comfortable, and so able. I was thinking I'd
like to use you at least once a month. I'm sorry. I'm sorry he hurt you. I don't
know what to do --"

"I'll be fine," I said. "I'll get better. I don't think there's any permanent
damage. It's not your fault."

"But it is -- if it hadn't been me -- "

"Just because you do something well in public, that's no reason for you to be
punished," I said.

She licked her upper lip. I'd seen that a hundred times too. It could mean any
of six things: an invitation to sex; deep thought; uncertainty; I'm hungry; I
don't know what to say next; my lip is dry. I was so used to watching her,
sensing her, being her, that I forgot we were in the middle of a conversation.
One didn't talk during a sensie; one just sat back and felt, and waited for
whatever would happen next.

Her eyes clouded. "I can't even --" she said. She touched my hand. She reached
out and rolled my coverall sleeve up, stared at the bruises around my wrist.
"That was real," she whispered. She touched it and I winced. She glanced back at
her .own wrist, the same color as the rest of her perfect skin. "But now it's
not." She let go of my arm and covered her eyes with her hands.

Patrick talked to his wristcom some more. Finally he opened the door and there
was no one outside but some security people, and someone Livida called Zachary.
She ran to him, and he embraced her; it looked like what happened at the end of
most of her sensies.

"They've caught him," someone said. "The stalker. They've caught him, Livida."

She wasn't listening, though. She was gripping Zachary's arm. She was walking
away. She never looked back.

I never wanted to go for facesculpting, but after that newsbyte from Tell-All
played on the hour and on the half for a week, people noticed the body on the
street. "Livida! Livida!" they yelled, and I didn't know how to answer. They
asked for autographs.

So I took some of my savings and had the nose thinned and the eyecolor changed,
and I augmented the cheekbones just enough to look like someone else. I kept the
plain, though.

April still watches Livida's sensies, but I take myself out of the net when they
come on.

I know her. I know her better than I know myself. She was inside the body. So
many times I was inside her image, living her manufactured life because it was
better than my real one. I wasn't in the body while she was, but I lived with
the aftereffects of what had happened to her, and that made me feel even more as
though I know her.

I watched a replay of her press conference after the hop, and I knew her mind.
We'd shared the pain and the crystal and the confusion.

Somehow I no longer know who I am. I don't think she knows who she is either.

Oh, I don't want to be her. It's okay if one person at a time wants to be me,
whoever they are when they're being me. But I don't ever want the whole world
wanting me. Not like that.